EPIC RAP BATTLES OF ANIME!!!

England vs. France

*Mild Language*

England:
I'm the country of England, and you're only France.
You're just a bloody wanker who can't keep it in his pants.
What's with all the romance? Too much estrogen?
That would explain the hair that is feminine.
Even Sealand is more of a man than you,
And Mary Janes are his favorite type of shoe.
Even Italy isn't quite as wimpy as a frenchman,
And that guy is Germany's stupid henchman.
Sure, Spain's service is slow enough to dislike,
But at least in Spain they aren't always on strike.
Bloody hell, something smells. France is that you?
I bet it's all the frogs, snails, and cheese fondue.
I was once a pirate and used to rock.
You haven't changed at all, so suck my clock.
That's right, Big Ben easily trumps you.
And the London Eye is is better than the Grande Rue.

France:
Bonjour, Angleterre. I am the country of France.
I have the finest cheeses, wines, and romance.
I know how to give fangirls what they want.
They hate scones, but they love croissants.
How could you not envy my delicious cuisine?
Every time you cook, I think "God save the queen".
I am better than you, just look at my hair.
Yours is all shaggy, you nasty Angleterre.
I talked to the girls you try to arouse.
They are asking themselves "Caterpillars or brows?".
Silly, England. You cannot flash them a smile.
I talked to your dentist. He said it's been a while.
I don't know what's worse, your teeth, scones, or tea.
Japan tried Earl Gray and said, "Are you kidding me?".
Feast your eyes and bow down to my ultimate power.
London wishes it has my supreme Eiffel Tower.

England:

My scones are amazing, don't insult me!
I have black magic and the chair of Busby!
As soon as you hear the words Dumbledora,
You are going to tremble and shake with horror.
My scones are now better than your creme brûlée.
Shakespeare was more talented than that painter Monet.
I'm from the land of William Shakespeare.
This rap battle will leave you dumb wanker in fear.
In english classes, students learn literature.
In french, they sit around and hate the teacher.
The point I'm trying to make is that I'm smart.
You just go around messing with peoples' hearts.

France:

There are some minor details you forgot to say.
You don't seem to have any painters like Monet.
Sure, scones aren't that bad, but haggis surely is.
And did anyone live through your black pudding dish?
America could never learn to sense the mood,
Just like how magic could never fix your food.
Your fairy tales and magic are really funny.
You talk to yourself, but you claim it's a bunny.
The rest of the countries think you're a pain.
Maybe you're grouchy because the constant rain.
Oh hon hon!

England:
Oh hon hon? More like no, no, no.
Nobody wants to hear that laugh anymore.
Don't think you can win by insulting my cuisine.
You're like a used car. I'm a limousine.
Like it or not, I'm popular now.
England is the new trend somehow.
Girls love British accents and gentleman.
Otakus think tsunderes are for the win.
Flying mint bunny is very real.
I don't care about how he makes people feel!
France, however is another story.
Nowadays people find you rather boring.
You'll never be a royal, it don't run in your blood.
You deserve to be a peasant sitting in the mud.
My turn is up, you bloody git.
I'd like to see you try to get out of this.

France:
I am a royal, have you heard of our kings?
Have you looked at my hand and seen all my rings?
I'm a higher class than you'll ever be.
I'm ten times more fabulous than a barbie.
You, however, are barely a ken doll.
You're just my accessory, and that is all.

Who won? Who's next? You decide!